Just be friends

I am sure this has pop into everyone's head now and den

nowadays, this really spins around me.
because i realise...it always boils down to this.

but anyway. vote for me 8D hahaha *shameless advert*
link : http://kamiyarehauste.blogspot.com/2009/12/please-vote.html


Just be Friends - Luka [vocaloid]
link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoPzP-MwcLI


Lyrics are being re-manipulated by me from N-number of sources to form this which i felt was the best. LOL.

Just be friends, all we gotta do
just be friends , its time to say goodbye
Just be friends, all we gotta do
Just be friends, just be friends, just be friends

It came to mind in the early morning yesterday
As I gathered Broken peices of glass it seemed to hit me
What is this? The drips from cuts of my finger
Is this what we really hoped for?

I knew it at the bottom of my heart
The hardest choice would be the best
My love refuses it and repeats self-contradiction
When will I finally be able to tell it to you?

In the slowly decaying world
I’m struggling but it’s the only way
Carving your faded smiles
I pulled out the plug

I screamed with my hoarse voice
Rebound and resonance echoed in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me

Coincidences that brought us together
Degenerates into the dark and are in broken pieces
“no matter what we do life is just like that” I mumbled
Somebody’s tears flowed down the dried cheeks

Just be friends, all we gotta do
just be friends , its time to say goodbye
Just be friends, all we gotta do
Just be friends, just be friends, just be friends

Yesterday it was a calm night and I finally realized.
It’d be useless to pick up the fallen petals
Because it’ll never bloom again, its tiny and already dead on my palms
Our time had stopped long ago

I still remember that day when we first met and that sweet smile you had on your lovley face.
When we revive the past we only end up hurting each other.
Our minds can’t take the thought of each other any longer

With this continuous dull relationship
I’ll never be able to change my mind.
I still love you, I don’t want to be apart from you,
But I have to tell you

My mind is full of many confusions.
I’m stunned, standing lifeless, my vision blurring
Despite my strength, I can’t help but feel the pain penetrating

The bond between us has faded, and dying away everyday
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it’s over
We have to leave without turning back

Just once, just once
If I could have my wish to come true
I’d want to be born again, and go back to those days

I screamed with my hoarse voice
Rebound and resonance echoed in vain
Nothing is left at the end of the unchained me

The bond between us has faded, and dying away everyday
Goodbye, my sweetheart, it’s over
We have to leave without turning back

It’s all over

Just be friends, all we gotta do
just be friends , its time to say goodbye
Just be friends, all we gotta do
Just be friends, just be friends, just be friends

PLEASE VOTE

http://www.bodyline.co.jp/bodyline/

Please type in your email to get a voting letter, so that you can vote 8D

i am at page 31-60 8D;;; if my polls dont increase thats it. LOL
no. 45
MODEL CATEGORY. lol

hahahah XD sankyuu <3

DONT

one of my photos in the visual shoot. edited the one in the mirror so it looks like the mirror one is evil 8D hurhur

==

anyway...other den my current addictions, i have somethingelse to rant.

but first. today's celebration for jon was awesome

even though all three of us were bled dry. seriously. EMPTY OUR WALLETS DRY.
and i had screw ups, and all.
I have to really hand it to chiru and lawliet for handling my excessive smses and commands <3 love you guys.

All that i have planned[although it din quite go my way. lawls. hate time] have paid off the moment i see the look the on jon's face.
Hahahaha how often do you get to see your BFF speechless and touched due to your actions?

i'll followup again in future post when i post up the pictures for the celebration. even though it was belated, i hope he had fun. and also chiru and lawliet.
it's a memory to last. for all of us <3

==

anyway. rantz tiemz.

Sorry is something you say when you did something wrong, and you say it because you meant to change it.
when sorry is being used excessively, it becomes a convenience. You just say it for the sake of appeasing the other.
Usually, I accept sorry with grace[or even do little bit of sour cos i are harping on it] but when I hear it too many times, i get sick of it.
It wont appease me anymore, it only makes me sick and disappointed.

Its not that I dont try to think from the other side, but since changes are promised, i expected them to be fulfil. Saying sorry just isnt going to work for me.
Every sorry with a promise that is never fulfiled just gripes at my heart, either angering me or just disappointing me up till the point that i go to sleep with either a frown or tears.
It just builds up. Its not that I am blind or I did not notice, its just that it isnt shown clearly enough. I dont know....

This is clearly not working out. No matter how many times i try, this is still not working out.
Do i look like I dont care?
Do I look like I dont try to work it out?
Maybe I do. maybe I SHOULD BE THE ONE CHANGING since no changes can be made even though it was being yearned for and promised.
Its not just knowing what I think anymore, sometimes, I wish i can read too.

this, just. isnt. working. out. for. me. ANYMORE.

igiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveupigiveup

i'll show the real meaning of I DONT CARE .
pushing it is just going to tire everybody out, i m not going to push it any further. not anymore, because i just dont care anymore.

prolly. this is the only way to save everything. prolly.

==

on the ending note, good luck to Shinn for his practical tmr /0/ jiayou~

Cantarella addiction

i are addicted to this damn song and several other vocaloids one also, but this is my main addiction.



the lyrics. two diff version. by ninjawolves from youtube and vocaloid wiki

ninjawolves ver.

Staring back at you
Staring back at me
Inside of our own closed off world
Acting oblivious
But yet we both pretend
That our intoxication might be sensed

As time passed by
I feel that my heart
Must keep hidden
So I may approach
I heave a sigh
Because around you
I feel far from myself

In my ordinary love, my heart pounds
And I,
Will set up my trap for you
Even though I'm eagerly
After you
I won't leave any trace

Things are not this clear
My words seem all sincere
And you begin letting your guard down

There's something you should know
About this deep drug
You thought you could drink it down

Rusting from time
The chains fall apart
You run away
With no place to go
The seconds
Echo by
The more you try to fight

Let me just say, inside of you, I see
Myself
Hiding in your memories
To be linked with the scent of your fear
makes me feel quite unsure of my choice.

In my ordinary love, my heart pounds, and I
Will set up my trap for you
Even though I'm eagerly after you, all I hear...

"Please capture me"

Let me just say, inside of you, I see myself
Hiding in your memories
To be linked with the scene of your smile
makes me feel so very in love with you


vocaloid wiki

Staring at eachother.
That gaze.
In a closed off world.
Even if you pretend not to notice, my intoxication might be sensed.

Hide this burning heart and become closer.
If you felt my deep breaths you might have quite a shock.
As with any common romance, right now, I'll make sure you fall for it.
Even with a few crevices I won't leave behind a trace.

With a few flimsy words you're left unguarded.
If you had known the powerful drug that only I can resist.
A rusted chain from which there is no escape.
The echo of the seconds is louder when you fight.

For example, we can hide deep in the garden forever.
I'm likely to be affected by the mixed scent of our sweat.
As with any common romance, right now, I'll make sure you fall for it.
Stumbling into a few crevices.

Capture me.

For example, we can hide deep in the garden forever.
I've been affected by the mixed scent of our sweat.


==

Kanji

見つめ合う。
その視線。
閉じた世界の中。
気づかないふりをしても酔いを悟られそう。

焼け付くこの心隠して近づいて。
吐息感じれば痺れるほど。
ありふれた恋心に今罠を仕掛けて。
僅かな隙間にも足跡残さないよ。

見え透いた言葉だと君は油断してる。
良く知った劇薬なら飲み干せる気がした。
錆びつく鎖から逃れるあても無い。
響く秒針に抗うほど。

たとえば深い茂みの中滑り込ませて。
繋いだ汗の香りにただ侵されそう。
ありふれた恋心に今罠を仕掛ける。
僅かな隙間覗けば。

捕まえて。

たとえば深い茂みの中滑り込ませて。
繋いだ汗の香りにただ侵されてる。

===

so full of love. I AM DOING IT 8D *gets bricked*
gotta like finish my other plans first....i think i'll be booked right up till nex cosfest.

SO MUCH FOR HOLIDAYS.

but like HIIIIIII tmr is start of hols. i'll have more time to dedicate to my FYP, COSPLAY and DOLLS <3

Canon Event Job

HAHAHHA scandal with ghey bro XD

anyway, today's event was awesome. hahahahahaha

in the end we din really used the skit =3=lll blah. but we had fun anyway /0/

the two most funniest persanz to me today is JESUKE and DD. hahahaha first set we din play much cos we were all very worried bout the turn out of the skit, which we din perform in the end. LOL

but yea =.= due to practice, i think i hurt myself real bad.

cos it went like that.. before the real thing, we were jus practicin in some private area outside, the floor was surprisingly slippery to everyone.

the first practice we roughly acted out abit.
den we started to get real on the second try

and while i was retreating from fighting from jesuke, i was suppose to act like i got hurt and kneel with one knee.
I miscalculated. i din know it was that slippery, my sole gave way, and my knee went crashin. i thought it was okay, cos it wasnt really THAT painful, jus felt like a normal bump.
den third try went rather ok. and jesuke decided to add a few more scenes to lenghten our fightin scene. so after we sorted out, we decided to go for another try.
jus den, there is a sudden pang in my damn knee. that i kneeled down on. i thought it was my illusion or something, so i ignored it.

so forth try.
i slipped a little again, and landed hard. hurt like SHIT. i thought i slipped alot. so i shook it off.
so in one of the scenes, i was suppose to knee jes and she was suppose to deflect it.
the moment, she touched my knee, i felt like the pang.
she pushed it. i felt like dying. LOL
even worse, i held to the pain, moved back, and supposedly "to be defeated"
at the that point. i was like =A='''''

so damn glad that the skit wasnt needed in one way or another, but,but, SO KE XI ;A;
cos like i thought the scene of us fightin was really good ;A; ah wellz.

now it jus hurts like shit, even when bending. idk what is hurt. cos the bruise is small but doesnt hurt when i rub it, only when i move it. LOL
i wonder HOW...the hell...am i suppose to go shoppin in such a condition tmr... but i m have to...guess i'll jus limp everywhere. HAHAHAH

so lookin forward to a few dates <3
hols~~~ HERE I COMEZ.... well. after tmr that is. LOL

to bed first. what ever photos can wait. HAHAHHA

buipdate /0/

N'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww AINT HE CUTE <3

anyway anyway. the pictures for the concept shoot are actually editin, but the camwhores one are ready. jus that i abit...

-5 mins later-

okok i post. LOL so there is the celebration of yuuto/kaito they all the bdae and also the shoot. 8D
yuuto and kaito






akihiko


bell


ki




after dingo dyed his hair, he and ciel are a paid luh HAHAHA



me and Dingo XD


/0/


me and bff


and den the shoot. hahaha

me and rrrrrrrrrrr




me and laoda


glowing in the movie room 8D


after the shoot ~~~/0/

me and ghey bro. hahaha


with rousi


with chiru again. HAHAHA


camwhore at home. hahahah i look so different luh.






check our mah awesum lashes. HAHHAHA FEEL SO DAMN GHEY PREASE. hahahaha


==

anyway. these few days there is nothing but racking of brains for ideas. yesterday we just started training, i think it was quite, okay. hahahaha but awkward sia since we dont have weapon and such yet.
I BELIEVE THAT WE ARE ALL GIVING OUR ALL TO THIS AND CONTRIBUTING AS MUCH AS WE CAN, with exception of jesuke, cos she like veh busy....so i wish that someone would stop making it sound like they are the only one working and thinking.

Honestly speaking, our skits were already DECIDED and we already started a little epic practice yesterday, so why are there still changes?
I am voting for keeping to our original scripts. so much easier.

~.~;;;

anyway. ytd practice was epic. hahahaha
we did a rough play of what was going to happen. damn funny. made DD walked around for quite a while. den she did all kinds of funny walk luh.
side ways, penguin, fairy style, ah beng style. hahaha keep laughin sia.
den me and lawliet keep nuaing each other cos damn sian.
den also jio toky come down, hahaha we realise toky is a evil/bian tai face person. damn funny. HAHAHAHA XD keep laughin like hell.
den rina come up with weird weird sound FX, den naoya like a bit @_@ cos he sick.

cant wait for friday's practice >w<

small update

YAY for awesome skin on webcam, i still look chui anyway *gets bricked* jus one of the random days me and lawliet webcam in school *hugs twinneh* dont stress k?

==

anyway. jus a record of what i did over the weekends.

on friday, i PONNED. hahahaha first time ponning leisure. felt damn good man. din have to stress for that one cls =A=ll
i went to bedok to collect costume from Ayu den after ah gong sms me.
so i guage the time or so, realised that it was possible, so i arranged for breakfast with ah gong. It was a pleasure as usual, eating with him, always so humorous.

Then, after that, cabbed over to shinn's to slack. cos he can hash internet and on leave. hahahah XD listened to him play guitar, critic him, den i went on to watch sengoku basara. I WAN COS DATE, non-helmet version[god i hate the helmet design]
I swear that sengoku basara is one of the coolest anime which i like that can make me fall asleep while watching =.=

I remember i watched it once at home, fell asleep.
den i watched it at shinn's, felt sleepy, so i off and go to sleep also. LOL!!!
its like Gackt's music, i love his music, but i fal asleep listening to it =w=lll

==

on sat, rot at home the whole day =.= no motivation to do ANYTHING.

==

on sunday, went for the stupid standard chartered marathon thing. oh gawd. you know how disgusting it is to massage legs with like 3CM long curly hair? and why are you guys like so fucking budget, like, USING COOKIN OIL FOR MASSAGE? in the end my bed decided to change to the mr joint pain cream, which was so much better, smelled like choco mint also.

After that the whole thing, went to wash up and doll up at city hall toilets =.=lll hahahahah cos i be bimbo. LOL.
met up with rina, lawliet and naoya to discuss about the skit at bugis library, den we decided to change to another series for second set.
Went to play daiko at iluma, played one set[4 songs] with twinneh, den twinneh chui.
After that i had this stupid surge of energy so i played another 2 more sets [3 songs each]. so played like 10 songs. but i wasnt still wasnt quite satisfied when i left the arcade.

den slack at the open space near coluessuem.more pointless discussion.
den twinneh treat me to Ma Maison, damn nice prease. Halfway through our meal, DD joined us.
more and more discussions.

after that we went to J.co to slack and discuss again. Everyone was rather tired and stressed out by this skit shit. we decided to change back to KHR for both sets again. did a rough plan out. and went home.

I was so tired on the train that i went to sleep den this irritating woman who was wear a blazer, her blazer end keep swiping over my head [i was facedown on my bag which was on my lap] so i got pretty annoyed...

reached home at 11, bath, online a bit, bth, slp ==;;;

==

on the good note. my EOY cos is jus about done. *happy* now lets home my wigs arrive safely. i really dont want any cock ups for EOY...

Dedication <3

HAHAHA i remember how we joked that himu mom ordered us in a bundle pack...

SO THIS WAS HOW ME AND LAWLIET CAME TO THE FAMILY 8D hahahahah my sleeping pose is so unglam XD

==

Anyway anyway 8D

my post dedication to the most insincere but cutest pair for the end of this year <3
I dont know why either, but the moment i know it, i was all smiles the whole day. Guess this is what a big brother feels like when he sees his sister happy 8D

hime-chan~ - i'll kick you if you ever make my twinneh sad or annoyed.but being the NICE GUY that you self-proclaimed, you wont right? i'll take your word for it.

twinneh - i still love you <3

hahahaha my best wishes to this pair of insincere idiot couple <3

8059 be mine @ 80Lawliet X 59Naoya

AFA pictures *coughslongoverduecoughs*

some random pictures first 8D



dingo's cat



has a kind of guren effect


==

hahaha okok
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.

i m postin picture of me, WITHOUT makeup. gawd.
i contemplated for so long sia =.=lll

this is how crappy i look before every cosplay 8D


.
..
...



...
..
.

one hour later...

AH HAR 8D


HAHAHAH huge diff right?! i know =3=lll

mika-chan


den i saw zander when mika dragged me to go see kaname.
hahaha long time no see. i only took his face cos he was jus beside me 8D;;;


kaname


CAMWHORESSSSSSSSSSSS

with toky 8D







with twinneh




with naoya


==

day 2

with haru[wtf at you luh]


with twinneh


with darryl


===

my steals from DAY 1 8D

AFA exhibitor pass 8D = free tic in
katana [sasuke's] - early xmas present from mika-chan
three drawings from kame's booth [uru, ruki, miyavi]
kame's deviant - http://little-kaiyou-kame.deviantart.com/ PLEASE SUPPORT HER DURING EOY09 TOO!!


on a happy note.
i can hash 2.5k views on my deviant. >w<>

Sudden urges

hahaha bryan say i look like a blackpeace now model. ROFL

anyway, i have this sudden urge to blog. so i'll edit the pictures tmr, but i will still blog now.

jus now in bathroom after bathing. one of my eye turn red for no reason. irritation and all.
when i was lookin at it in the mirror, it reminded me of the numerous times i have cried during the recent periods. well not cause of those stupid comments.
Many people think i m strong, but thats negative, i jus dont do it outside. I only tear in the privacy of mah room and mah nice wittle toilet[which is being abused by my family] hahaha I am also a being after all.
I cry, well not like BAWLING cry, but silent cries. i can jus look into the space, and den suddenly overwhelmed with emotions and my tears jus break loose.

LOL MUCH RIGHT?

but yea. it happens alot. especially this half of the year. Usually happens when i m just reflecting on my actions. feel kinda stupid, but ah well 8D it life isnt it?

I am just wondering now. Should I keep my hopes high, and continue hoping or should i just break down those hopes before it gets smashed? I know i m given promises and all but knowin well, its is kind of unpredictable. Its the various things that was done that made me uncertain, because I thought i know well enough, but things that was done just surprises me, takes me off guard, and brings everything down.

*taps taps taps*

i dont know.

lookin at the various words...

hmmmm

ughhhh

i think i m about to get annoyed really soon.

THIS DOESNT MAKE ANYTHING MORE DIFFERENT DOES IT
den why the fuck am i doing it for? its defeating all purpose...dammit

ok. now I AM ANNOYED. *slams into wall*

i need sleep i think....*headache*